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Setting Boundaries, Tips For College Students
As a young adult, you must know that saying yes to everything is not a good thing. Eventually, if you are doing some things that you are not comfortable with, it can take a toll on your mental and emotional health. So here’s a post that could help you in setting boundaries. It’s also a form of self-respect and you should practice it most, if not all the time.
Know What You Can Tolerate
First of all, you have to know yourself. What are the things that you can bear? And what are the things that will just pull the trigger? Logically speaking, you cannot set boundaries if you don’t know where to start and stop. So this is the initial step for you.
You can take time to figure this out. For example, think of the times where you got really irritated or annoyed. List these things down.
Be Clear With What You Want
When you are confronting your loved ones or your friends when it comes to boundaries, do not be afraid to be honest and clear. Do not expect them to read between the lines. If you want to establish boundaries, there should be no room for loopholes.
For example, if your parents are always dropping by your apartment without your consent and by surprise. You can politely tell them to call you up first and to make sure to visit on weekends only. That way, you can still spend quality time with them. Plus, your schedule will not be disrupted.
Be Assertive And Not Aggressive
When making a point, there’s no need to raise your voice or to be loud. That could cause further rift. But what we suggest is that you be in your calmest state when setting your boundaries. Always maintain eye contact, and make sure to listen to what they have to say. After all, we want mutual respect to happen.
Prepare Your Script
If you are not naturally assertive, then you can prepare a script before you open up such topic with your loved ones, friends, or roommate. If you practice what you are about to say, it tends to sound more natural. And you won’t be distracted by your emotions.
Don’t Forget To Acknowledge Their Efforts
Maybe some of your friends and families are not just aware that they are already going overboard. That’s probably why they are too protective or they seem to meddle with your personal life.
You can always thank them and show your appreciation for their efforts. Yet again, you have to be clear that such actions can make you feel uncomfortable.
Have A Resolution
If possible, you can always meet halfway. If you are about to start a conversation about boundaries, look for ways to find a middle ground, and propose it.
Repeat Your Boundaries
Sometimes, saying it once isn’t enough. In that case, you have to repeat it as long as you are comfortable. For example, your roommate is always getting your toiletries. Call them out and make sure you get the message across. Say that you are not comfortable about it. Unless you say it, they will continue to act the same.
Setting Boundaries When Having An Online Class
Since most institutions are now offering online classes, you need to know that there are adjustments to be made. If you are already at home, your parents and siblings might not be aware how to behave right away. So here’s what you can do, tell them your class schedule.
If you have a spare room at home, use that to your advantage. It could be a guest bedroom, an attic, or a basement that your family is not using on a regular basis. That way, you can set up your table or study area and be more focused.
Setting Boundaries Isn’t Wrong
Most people are not fond of setting boundaries because they feel guilty about it. But you have to know that it’s not bad. In fact, in any relationship, whether with your friends, your romantic partner, or your roommates, knowing your boundaries is healthy.
You need to reframe your mindset and think that a conversation about boundaries is a positive thing. It’s one of the ways you can build a good foundation with the people around you.
And remember, you have to acknowledge the boundaries of other people. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Again, the key words here are mutual respect. When you know how to respect each other’s boundaries, then you can live a more harmonious life.
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