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How To Grieve When You Lost Your College Mentor

There is a unique kind of loss in losing a mentor. As we begin to realize that together with their death, we also lose the future lessons and memories that we could still have with them. Losing someone who sees the good in us, pushes us to our potential, and genuinely believes in us is a different kind of heartbreak. We lose the person and his dedication and loyalty towards us. When you experience such, how do you move on?

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Despite the loss of the person, the lessons that we learned from them still exist. Make the most out of these learnings while getting over your grief with these tips.

Navigating Through The Lost of a Mentor

Feel The Grief

You can never recover from something unless you get through it. To recover from grief, you will have to feel and embrace it. Cry your heart out. Stay away from people if you must. Visit your mentor’s grave as much as you want to. Sleep or stay in your room as much as you like. Deal with the pain the way you know how without putting yourself in danger. As you feel your grief, you will also start to learn how to deal with it.

Acceptance

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The first step to recovery is acceptance. It is also the hardest. Why did our mentor leave us? Was it because of sickness, an accident, or of natural causes? Whatever the reason is, the end result is the same -death. People die because it is in their nature. It is inevitable. Learning to accept that this is the natural phase that a living person goes through takes time but is your first step to getting better.

Understand Grief

Why are you grieving for your mentor? Did you lose a friend? Where are the things you failed to do or say to them? Understanding your grief is knowing the things that you lost with their death. After knowing these reasons, you have two options – find these reasons from someone else, gradually, or be the mentor that he or she was to you to another person. Use grief as a potential to meet others or to help others just like how your mentor helped you.

Have A Support System

Losing someone makes you feel alone. You lose that person and there is no coming back from it. But another truth exists. You can find more people that are willing to offer a crying shoulder as you go through the grief of loss. Seek people that can keep you company while you grieve. These people, most of the time, are also the ones that you will be with as you go through the path of moving on.

Do Not Be In A Rush To Meet A New Mentor

Just like falling in love, rebound relationships can be destructive. Getting a new mentor will not help you productively get over the loss of one. Allow yourself to be alone and enjoy the memories that you had with your mentor. Although you may find a new mentor in the future that will inspire you in life once again, take time to enjoy the process and sit back as you enjoy the wait. Jumping into a new mentor after losing the one may lead you to seek your old mentor from your new one, which is not healthy on both ends.

Seek Medical Help

If you find yourself taking drugs, drinking too much, or resorting to behaviors that may put you in danger, seek help from a professional. There is nothing wrong with crying out for help when you need to. If caring for yourself is something you are not capable of doing, seek someone that can care for you – a loved one, parent, or professional. 

Pick up your mantle and make your mentor proud by being the person that he believes you are capable of. Use their invaluable guidance in this time of darkness in your life. Reflect on the experiences that you had with him. Think what they would say to you if they were still here and seeing you in this circumstance. Find your purpose and steer steadily back to the right path. The truth is, you never have to say goodbye to a great mentor. Their lessons and memories will forever linger in your heart and mind.

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